So, here is what I've been pondering lately. Is there something about the ease of the world in which we live, and by that I mean modern technology, that makes it harder for us to surrender our lives for a lifetime? Why do I only think of surrender one category or circumstance at a time? Why do I seem unable to completely surrender my all?
Lately, I've been confronted with my own seemingly shallow relationship with Jesus. It's easy for me to verbally say I'm surrendered, but really, my surrender is limited by conditions, desires and wants. I am way too easily distracted in this relationship, treating Jesus like the check out boy at Target - the one I have to go through to get what I want. I am a consumer. And I'm using Jesus. Perhaps my culture and surroundings have made being a consumer much to easy and it's filtered into my relationships.
I've spent some time thinking about the missionaries of old - the Gladys Aylwards, Amy Carmichals, Hudson Taylors, and Jim Elliots and others. It is mind boggling to me to think that for some, when they left to travel to their ministry locations, the journey would take 6 months. I've been known to complain about a 20 hour plane ride. This is what has made me wonder if our great, modern technology has made living much too easy and thus, made our view of surrender... well, light.
Perhaps the lines were clearly drawn back then. To follow Jesus you knew it involved great diffictulties and therefore the surrender was taken seriously and was lived out once made. But what if today the lines are no less clearly drawn? What if today we just perceive them to be muddy? What if today we are far too easily satisfied and are eating mud pies, as CS Lewis would say? What if today, when we choose to follow Jesus, we should consider that that live will include great difficulties and suffering and that surrender is not a light subject? What if today we are just fearful and lazy?
I wonder where the Hudson Taylor's, Amy Carmichal's, Elliots, Billy Grahams and Bill Brights are of today. Because so far I'm pretty convinced it's not me. And to be honest, in my flesh, I'm not sure I even want it to be me. But in my spirit I hope. I hope for change. I hope for full surrender.
NOTE - the picture above is one of my heroes, Gladys Aylward. For a brief bio check out http://chi.gospelcom.net/women/aylward.shtml.
